Emma
by DFM
Summary: Sometimes it's hard not to get too attached.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Emma

**Pairing(s):** Castle/Beckett (eventually)

**Rating:** PG-13

**Summary:** Sometimes it's hard not to get too attached.

**Disclaimer:** If it looks or sounds like something from Castle, I don't own it.

**Spoilers:** None.

**A/N:** This story has nothing to do with the Jane Austen novel... in case any of you were wondering lol

* * *

"I think he flipped in the air 5 times before he finally landed!" Castle said excitedly, mostly to Beckett, but more than willing to tell anyone else in the precinct who was willing to listen.

"Uh huh," was Beckett's only response, but he could tell she was having a hard time not smiling at his antics.

"You're going write my brilliant take-down into the report, right?"

"Oh, I've got it right here."

"Really?"

"Sure." She picked up said report and pretended to read off the page. "Consultant, Richard Castle, then tripped over his own feet, taking Suspect Andrews completely by surprise and was unable to avoid a collision with the consultant's prone figure."

"You left out the flips."

"That was terribly remiss of me." She smirked at him in a way that told him that they probably weren't going to get added in.

"Kate!" They both turned at the sound of the young voice. Castle barely had time to register the owner as a teenager girl before she was flying at Beckett. Castle watched in surprise as Beckett hugged the girl, who started crying almost as soon as she was secure in her arms, without question.

"Shh, Em, it's okay."

The girl just shook her head and held on tighter. Briefly, Castle worried about Beckett's ribs, though she didn't wince in pain so he brushed it off.

Castle glanced towards Ryan and Esposito, expecting them to be as confused as he was. Instead they simply looked concerned.

Who was this girl?

##

Beckett finally got Emma calmed down enough to release her death grip on her, though she had yet to let go of her hand. Getting her settled in her chair, Beckett crouched down in front of her, trying to read what had caused the broken sobs. A long list of worst-case scenarios came to mind, but she pushed them away.

A mug of hot chocolate found it's way into Emma's hand. Beckett smiled gratefully at Castle, but couldn't address all the questions she could hear him not asking.

"Em, do I need to take you to a hospital?" She almost choked on the question. It needed to be asked, and it needed to be asked before anything else happened.

When she received a shake of the head in response, Beckett let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Okay... let's go in here so we can talk."

Emma followed her without question into an empty conference room. She closed the door, trying to keep the conversation as private as possible.

"What happened?"

##

Castle watched through the window of the conference room as Beckett talked to the mystery girl. He didn't think they were related... Other than their hair coloring, there was really nothing similar about their appearance. This girl was petite, with skin bordering on pale.

"Her name's Emma Moore," Ryan told them, as the two partners came to stand beside the writer.

"Who is she?" The 'to Beckett' was left unsaid, but they heard it anyway.

Esposito cleared his throat and glanced at the room before returning his attention to Castle. "A few years ago we were working a case... A woman was killed by her husband while she was trying to protect their little girl. It wasn't a complicated case; the fucker didn't even bother to do a good job cleaning up after himself. But the girl... she wouldn't let any of the male officers near her, she glued herself to Beckett's side and wouldn't let go. Beckett tried not to get attached, but it's hard sometimes."

"She tried to adopt her," Ryan added, only to receive a glare from his partner. Apparently Esposito had been planning to leave that part out.

Castle didn't see any of this however. His breath had caught in his chest at Ryan's words, and his eyes were once again riveted to the scene through the window of his muse soothing the teenager.

##

"They're moving me again."

Beckett's heart broke just a little more at the resigned way Emma said this. This would be her 5th move in 6 years. She knew that she'd had some problems with other kids in her first couple of foster homes, and then she'd started acting out at school, but this last couple... it had seemed like a really good fit for her and she'd been with them for two years now. Beckett wouldn't have been surprised if they had decided to file for adoption.

"What happened?"

"Jill's pregnant. They told me this morning... They can't afford two kids and since I'm not really theirs..."

They tears were sliding down her face again. Beckett pulled her back into her arms. "I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"I was good. I didn't cause any problems. I wouldn't have - "

"Shh..." She began stroking Emma's hair the way she had the day they met. Looking down at the top of her head she could still see the tiny seven year old she had been. "I know. I know."

"Will you ask them again, Kate?"

"Yeah... Yeah, I'll ask." They both knew nothing would change, but that didn't matter in that moment.

##

"Why wouldn't they let her?"

Esposito snorted. "Come on, Castle. If you looked at Beckett, or really any of us, on paper would you hand over a kid? Never been married, never had a relationship that lasted longer than a year, and works long hours at a job where she could just not come home one day. The Social Worker thought she was joking when she first brought it up."

"We both offered to marry her after the 3rd time her petition got rejected." This time Esposito hit Ryan on the back of the head and made a 'what's wrong with you?' face.

Castle took it in stride though. Obviously Beckett hadn't said yes to either of them. "How many times has she tried?"

"Every time they say they're going to move the poor kid to another foster home."

##

"I need to make some calls," Beckett finally said, pulling away a little to get a look at the girl's tear-stained face.

"You're not going to call the Thompsons are you?"

"You know I have to." Emma started to protest but Beckett shook her head, not budging. "They're your guardians. You know we have to play this straight." Emma hesitated only a second before sighing in agreement. "Are you okay to sit here for a bit?"

Getting a nod, Beckett slipped out of the room. She gave Esposito a look before she passed the three men and was grateful when she heard him open the door she'd just walked out of and call out, "Hey, princesa, you don't get to ignore your favorite detectives! Kevin will think you don't like him."

"I like him better than you, Javi. He's much less bossy."

Beckett felt some of the tension ease out of her shoulders at Emma's teasing response. She let the sound of their laughter calm her as she walked toward the break room to make her phone calls.

##

He didn't mean to follow her. He'd originally intended to go with Esposito and Ryan to meet the little girl who had done what he'd been trying to do for years: get into Beckett's heart. At least that was the plan until he saw the stress lines puckering Beckett's forehead and the tense way she was carrying herself, which he'd only ever seen when she was preparing for a stressful interrogation or making sure a room was clear.

_"Yeah, Jill, she told me. Congratulations. No... I know you would if you could."_ Beckett ran a hand through her hair, but he noted that she kept her voice even, not necessarily warm, but far from angry. _"She wants to stay here for a bit. Is that alright? Of course I can feed her before I bring her home. Yeah... Have you talked to Claire? Okay... Yeah, I'll see you and David tonight."_

She hung up and began dialing immediately. He wondered if it was because she was anxious or because she didn't want to lose her nerve. _"Hi, Claire."_ She gave a forced laugh to whatever the woman on the phone had said. _"Yeah, I'm nothing if not predictable."_

That wasn't really the adjective he would have chosen for her.

_"No. Nothing has changed... Do you really expect me to buy that? I have been the most stable relationship in Emma's life for the past 6 years. I love her. Can any of the foster parents you've put her with say that?"_

He'd known that she did. He could see it in the way she talked to the girl, the way she held her. He hadn't expected her to say it out loud though. Beckett didn't express emotions that casually.

_"If I quit my job than I'd be an _unemployed_ single woman. Would that really help my chances? No... yes, I know. Okay. Thanks"_

She hung up the phone and the room was eerily quiet as he listened to her draw in each steadying breath. "Castle..."

He didn't question how she knew he was there without turning towards him; she just did. "Yeah?"

"I'm going to say something, and I need you to realize how hard it is for me to do so." She finally turned around and stared directly into his eyes. All he could do was nod. "I need your help."

##

TBC

##

**A/N 2:** X-Files fans probably already spotted it, but this fic is the direct result of excessive viewings of Christmas Carol/Emily. However, I'm just going to say right now... Emma is not an Alien/Human Hybrid and I'm 99.99% sure that I'm not going to kill her off.


	2. Chapter 2

_"I need your help."_

"Whatever you need."

His response was so immediate and unquestioning that she found herself smiling in appreciation. She'd had a few men throughout her life make grandiose statements about how they would 'do anything' for her, but with Castle... it didn't seem like lip service. Even with all of that, part of her still hesitated before asking, "How much did the guys tell you?"

He shrugged. "They went over the basics. You know... name, rank, marriage proposals."

Against her will, she felt her cheeks warm with an uncomfortable blush. "I'm surprised they mentioned that."

"I'm not sure it was completely intentional."

That she believed. If she had to guess, she'd say Ryan let his mouth run away from him. He got chatty when he was nervous or rattled. "Did they mention Claire Reed?" He simply shook his head and waited for her to continue. "She's the social worker in charge of Emma's case."

"She's who's rejected your application each time?"

"_Deferred_," she spat the word out like the worse of curses. "Each time. I never get further than the home study part of the process."

"What's the reason she gives."

"My job is her main concern, at least the one she lists, but the truth is that we've butted heads since the very beginning. She didn't like that I let Emma get attached to me. She doesn't like that I've stayed in her life. She says that's the reason that Em hasn't ever settled into any of her foster homes. That opinion wasn't helped when Em started getting into fights."

Castle's brow furrowed in confusion. "How could you be blamed for that?"

Beckett looked a little sheepish, but she still couldn't bring herself to feel ashamed for this part of the tale. "Some girls were picking on her. She tried to tell her foster mother at the time, but the woman was in charge of so many kids... as far as she was concerned, as long as it didn't get anymore serious that bruises than it was just 'kids being kids'. I wasn't willing to wait until it got more serious, so I taught her how to defend herself. She broke one of the girls' noses; they didn't mess with her again after that. I think Claire wanted to reject my application outright after that, but they tend not to unless the suspect there would be abuse."

Taking a deep breath, Beckett studied Castle for a moment, before saying, "I'm never going to be able to adopt Emma as long as Claire is in charge of her case. You say you have 'a guy everywhere'... how accurate is that?"

"Accurate enough that I already had a mental list of names to call so that Emma would be living with you by the weekend." He paused, giving her a slight smile. "You had to know that you didn't need to ask."

"Yes I did." However many things got left unspoken between them, this... this one thing couldn't. "I'll find some way to pay you back for the favors you're going to cash in -"

He scoffed and shook his head. "You won't owe me anything."

She wanted to protest, but the look he gave her told her that it would be pointless. "Do you want to meet her?"

A wide grin spread across his face. "Of course!"

Beckett smiled back, relaxing a little for the first time since Emma had arrived at the precinct. "Okay... I'm going to go turn in my report and then we can all go and grab something to eat."

##

Beckett was trying very hard not to laugh. The look of relief mixed with glee on Castle's face, though, was not making it at all easy.

Their walk to Remy's had started out in near silence. Emma is generally a very shy girl around people she doesn't know very well and Castle was being uncharacteristically nervous. Beckett had found herself trying to keep the conversation going - a skill she usually only used with suspects and witnesses.

That was until Castle discovered the magic question.

They'd been walking for about a block and a half before he finally noted the book Em was clutching to her like a security blanket and asked her what she was reading. Cautiously she'd held it up and Castle all but gasped at the sight of 'The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe'.

By the time the were sliding into a booth, Castle on one side, Beckett and Emma on the other, they were in an animated discussion about their favorites.

"_The Murders in the Rue Morgue_ is what got me into writing murder mysteries. Poe invented detective fiction!"

"It's not a bad one," Emma conceded. "I thought the orangutan being the killer was a little far-fetched. _The Cask of Amontillado_ is his creepiest. I had nightmares about being buried alive for weeks after my teacher had us read it for Halloween!" Emma shuddered dramatically.

"And you, Ms Beckett? Let me guess... you love the romance of _Eleonora_."

Beckett wrinkled her nose. "He wrote that for his cousin, Castle."

"Hmm... _The Oval Portrait_, perhaps?"

"A story about confusing art with life... no, why would I relate to that?"

Emma was glancing back and forth between the pair, smiling in amusement. Leaning forward, she whispered conspiratorially, "it is the beating of his hideous heart!"

Castle grinned widely. "You're such a cop, Beckett."

"Shu-" she trailed off as her phone began to ring. Seeing the name on the display, she bit her lip and considered not answering, if only for a second. "I should take this... order for me?"

She barely waited for an answer before heading outside. "Hi, Josh."

##

Castle tried not to stare as Beckett walked away to take her phone call. It was new for him though, so he was only marginally successful. When he looked at Emma there was a knowing smile on her face that was all Beckett. "What?"

"Nothing." She went back to looking over the menu, the smile never leaving her face.

"Have you met Josh yet?" He very nearly smacked himself in the head as soon as the words slipped out. He would hurt anyone for asking Alexis a question like that, but 30 seconds alone with Emma and he was already asking about Beckett's boyfriend.

Emma stared at him for a second before she started laughing... hard.

"You don't have - "

Shaking her head, Emma cut him off, working to get her laughter down to a giggle. "Kate doesn't introduce me to her boyfriends. I'd be willing to bet Josh has never even heard my name."

Castle tried not to make too much of this new tidbit and just nodded.

"Your books are pretty good."

It took him a second to catch up with the quick change of topic. "You've read them?" His books weren't exactly standard reading for those under 17.

"Well, you based two on Kate... I couldn't very well not read them. I got a copy of _Heat Wave_ and was almost half-way through when she took it away from me. I asked Jim why and he said he didn't know because she took away his copy too."

Castle felt his cheek's heat with a faint blush, something that hadn't happened since he was in high school. How had it never occurred to him that Beckett's family would read the Nikki Heat series? And that included page 105.

"Yeah, I pretty much figured out why when I checked out a couple of your fansites... Is this where I ask what your intentions towards my mom are?"

Castle covered a wince, and tried not to make it too obvious that he was intimidated of a thirteen-year-old little girl.

##

"Josh... I can't tonight." Beckett tried not to sigh in frustration. He wasn't doing anything wrong, she reminded herself, but her relationship with Josh was just one detail too many at this point.

_"Kate, this is the first night we've both had in weeks. I'd like to spend it with my girlfriend."_

"I know, and I promise I'll make it up to you, but I really can't tonight."

Josh was less successful at containing his sigh. "Okay. I understand." He always did. "Maybe this weekend we can get dinner?"

"Sure."

They said goodbye and Kate tried not to think about the conversation they would have to have if her petition to adopt Emma went through. Emma had been the center of her world for a long time, but she knew that if she became her guardian she would become all of it.

And that left very little room for Josh.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed this fic so far! I'm really sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I had a hard time writing it for a few reasons... two of which are that a) I should never write on Benadryl... it's not pretty... and b) this chapter does little more than setup ones that will follow.

I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless and I'll try and get chapter 3 out in a much more timely manner! ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Adam Green had been surprised, to say the least, when his supervisor, Jerald, called him into his office with a clearly agitated Claire storming out just ahead of him. He was even more surprised when he was immediately handed a file, most of which was signed-off in Claire's neat signature.

"I want you to spend the morning getting up to speed on this case," Jerald said simply, his tone broaching no argument. "You're going to be taking it over."

"Will Claire be available for questions?" Like, 'why was she being removed?' for example. Claire Reed had the most seniority of anyone in the office and was usually given the hardest cases and was certainly never taken off one she wanted... and from the look on her face, she wanted this one bad.

"No, she's going to be spending the day on the rest of her considerable caseload." Adam watched Jerald's face as he paused, trying to decide whether to end it there or say what he was thinking. "You need to steer clear of her on this one, Green. I had a Family Court judge call me today telling me to get a second opinion. The implication that Reed has lost her objectivity on it was subtle, but it was definitely there.

"The child's name is Emma Moore and the same woman has petitioned to adopt her five times, and has been deferred each time by Claire. The reasoning is not as... clear-cut as you'd expect from her."

"Does Emma know the woman?"

"According to the file, they have spent time together."

"Well, has anyone _asked_ Emma if she wants to live with..."

"Kate Beckett. And yes, once."

"And?"

"The answer was 'no'."

Well, at least he had a place to start...

##

Emma didn't like the look of the guy sitting in front of her anymore than she liked Claire. She was so tired of social workers and therapists that said that they were there to help her but never actually listened to her. If it weren't for Kate and her friends, she would think that grown-ups were just incapable of understanding what kids were saying. If this one didn't let her move in with Kate, then she was going to run away and hide with Jim until they stopped looking for her and then she'd come back and live with Kate anyway.

Still, she smiled slightly and shook his hand before taking her own seat. Jill was sitting off to the side, flipping through another pregnancy book.

"Emma, my name is Adam. I know you've been working with Claire, but I'm just going to ask you a few questions if that's alright?"

Biting her bottom lip nervously, Emma nodded. She had yet to find the right answers to these questions.

"You know a Kate Beckett, right?" Emma nodded again. "Did you know that she's petitioned to adopt you?"

"I asked her to." Adam looked slightly surprised at that, so Emma hastily added, "Not that she wouldn't have anyway."

"I'm sure she would have," he soothed. "How is your relationship with her?"

"She's my mom." Emma waited for him to correct her; Claire and Dr. Tran always did, but Adam simply nodded and made a note. Though the note looked longer than the word 'mom', or he wrote really slowly.

"You've known her since you were seven?"

"Yeah, when she rescued me."

"Did someone tell you that?"

"No," Emma snapped defensively, "I _remember_ that. I was seven, not a baby."

"You're right, I'm sorry." He smiled in apology before saying, "I'm going to ask you some questions that might make you feel uncomfortable. If at any point you want me to stop and have a female social worker ask you these questions, let me know, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Has Kate ever made you feel uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Has she ever touched you in a way that feels wrong?"

Emma stared at him incredulously for a second. "Ew! No! She's my mom, not some dumb boy who keeps trying to grab my boob!"

Okay, that was probably the wrong way to answer, Emma reminded herself, but seriously... why was this guy being gross?

"Has she ever hit you?"

"No, my father did that enough."

Adam looked at her for a long moment. "I'm not trying to upset you, Emma. We can stop if you want."

She did want to, but she also knew she had to get this over with. "No, but can I say something?"

"Of course."

"Kate is the only person who's really cared about me since my birth-mom died," she saw Jill's head jerk up out of the corner of her eye, but Emma couldn't afford to spare her feelings right now. "She taught me how to ride a bike, took me dress shopping for my first school dance and all of the ones after that, she used to hold my hand when I was getting a shot until I told her I didn't need her to anymore. She spent more time looking for an apartment because she needed something with two bedrooms so I would have someplace to stay when I came over, which is every couple weekends. We talk on the phone every night, even when she's in the middle of a big case. So, can I just ask, Adam, why can't I just live with her?"

Dragging in a long breath to make up for not taking one during her monologue... her English teacher would be so happy she was using her vocabulary words... Emma tried to read Adam's face. She couldn't really make out any changes.

"I think that answers all of my questions, Emma, thank you. I want to talk to Jill for a moment if you don't mind."

Emma got up, stuck between wanting to ask if she'd 'passed' and wanting to sprint out of there as fast as possible. Instead, she shook his hand again and started walking towards her room. She almost made it to the hall when he called out her name.

"Emma, sorry, I do have one more question... Did Claire ever ask you any of the questions I just did?"

She shook her head and resumed walking. She couldn't help a part of herself that was bouncing up and down, going, 'I think I just got Claire in trouble!'

##

Adam had spent a few days doing research and interviews, hoping against hope that he was wrong. And now... now he was out for blood. He stormed into Claire's office; she was one of the few not shoved into a cubicle, and slammed the door behind him.

"What the _hell_, Claire? There is nothing wrong with her apartment, she's had the same job for almost 10 years, and Emma adores her. I'm going to try and convince Kate Beckett to adopt more kids after I green-light her petition for Emma."

Claire gave him a 'poor rookie' look and shook her head. "You're making a mistake."

"Well, at least I'll be in good company. You forged an interview and kept deferring the application so you wouldn't have to write as thorough a report! I don't know if you're crazy or a cartoon villain!"

Claire's face stayed impassive through his entire rant. "Whether you want to believe me or not, I did it for Emma's own good. She lost her mother tragically, there was absolutely no reason to put her into a position with a higher risk of losing another." He started to speak, but she continued on in an even tone. "Which is exactly what I put as the reason for the deferment, each time. However, Jerald wasn't always the boss and my word didn't always carry the weight it does now." She paused, but from the way she was looking at him Adam could tell she wasn't done. "You know, maybe if you make it a few more years in this job you can judge me. Each year we get a new shipment of 'do-gooders' in here and maybe _one_ of you makes it to year 5. You get scared off by the first drunken father waving a gun when you come with an order to remove the kids, or when you lose a child because she went running back to the mother who's been beating her since before she could crawl. So, I'll tell you what, Rookie, you do whatever you feel you need to."

With that Claire grabbed her coat and left Adam staring in disbelief at the spot she'd just vacated.

"Son of a bitch," he muttered.

##

Beckett was just pulling a whistling kettle off the stove when there was a knock on her door. Setting aside the mug she was just about to pour the hot liquid into, she went to answer it.

"Ms. Reed?" She wasn't sure there was anyone in the world that she wanted to see less. For Emma, however, she could pretend to play nice... for now. "How nice to see you again. Is there something I can help you with?"

"I was wondering if we could talk."

"Is this an official visit?"

"No."

Beckett hesitated for a moment, torn between the need to slam the door in this woman's face and being curious as to what could have made her come here. Finally, she stepped aside and let her in. "I was just about to have some tea. Would you like some?"

"No, thank you. I won't be here too long." Claire did a cursory glance around the apartment before turning back to her. "I came to ask you withdraw your application."

In the back of her mind Beckett mused that Claire was very lucky that she wasn't wearing her gun currently. "I guess you weren't kidding about not staying long. No. You can leave now." Willingly or she would help her.

Unfortunately, Claire didn't seem to hear the implied ending to the sentence. "This is a nice apartment... what happened to the last one?" She didn't wait for the answer they both knew. "You know it was never anything against you personally... I think some day you'll make an excellent mother, but this job you have..."

"Okay, I'm just going to stop you right there, because this time I don't need to listen to you talk about my job like it's a meth habit. I don't know if you actually believe no cops should be parents or if it's just the ones that step on your toes. I'm never going to apologize for not waiting for your say-so to care about Em, so if that's what you're waiting for you can do that somewhere else."

Beckett walked back towards the door, and was just starting to open it when Claire spoke again. "I would think you of all people would know how devastating it can be to lose a parent. Why would you wish that on a little girl?"

##

"Beckett?"

She hadn't glanced up when he opened the door, but at the sound of his voice she did. She looked exhausted and a little lost, but what concerned him the most was the pain he saw lurking behind her eyes. Castle secretly called this the 'I miss my mom' look. "Hey, Castle... I don't know what I'm doing here."

"You want to come in 'til you figure it out?" he joked while ushering her inside.

"Hi, Detective Beckett!" Alexis greeted from her spot at the kitchen counter, which looked like she'd completely taken over with textbooks, notes, flash cards, and various colors of both pens and highlighters.

"Hi, Alexis."

"Sweetie, Beckett and I are going to go talk for a bit. If the timer goes off before we're done, can you take dinner out of the oven?" After receiving her assurance, Castle gently nudged Beckett towards his office. He had a good dozen questions he wanted to ask her, but for once kept them to himself and instead watch her pace back and forth across the carpet.

"What am I doing?"

"Wearing in a pair of new shoes?"

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "What if she's right? What if adopting Emma is the worse thing I could do for her?"

"Wha-"

"I don't know how to be anything but a cop, Castle! It's a fundamental part of who I am. You asked me if I would quit if I won the lottery... Who says that they _wouldn't_ quit their job if they won the lottery?"

She was quickly becoming untethered and it was freaking Castle out. Grasping her shoulders, he guided her over to a chair and pushed her into it. "What happened, Kate?"

She almost didn't answer. "It was implied that I'm either going to get Emma blown-up or leave her an orphan, with the possibility of becoming a vengeance-driven cop."

Before he really understood what he was doing, he'd pulled his cell phone out and was quickly scrolling through his contacts.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to file a complaint! It was Reed, right? It's not even her case anymore; she can't..."

Her cool hand covered his. "Castle..."

He almost shrugged her off, but the combination of her soft but firm voice and the shake of her head stopped him. So, instead of yelling he whispered. "Beckett, I don't have to guess whether you'll make a great mother because you already are one. I didn't need more than five minutes of seeing you with Emma to know that. That girl knows, without question, that you love her, which is a big deal for any child, but especially one who's had as hard a time as Em has.

"Can I promise that you won't take a bullet or get hit by a cab? I wish that I could, but neither of us is stupid enough to believe that. I can make you the same promise you made me for Alexis though... I promise that if anything ever happens to you, I will look out for Emma... I can't shoot her boyfriends, but I do a fairly decent job of scaring them." She chuckled slightly, which was what he'd been going for so he smiled in return. "You're going to be extraordinary at this like you are at everything else."

"You know, Castle, every once in awhile..."

"Yeah, yeah... I know you want me."

"Oh, you have no idea." He knew she was teasing him, but he could have sworn he saw something flicker in her eyes for just a split second.

* * *

**A/N:** If you would like to get on the list to inflict bodily, emotional, and/or psychological harm to the charming Ms. Reed, there is a sign-up sheet going around...

Thank you so much for all of the positive feedback all of you've been giving me on this story! I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **I am so, so, so, so [x100] sorry that this took so long. Hopefully it's at least somewhat worth the wait.

* * *

_"Get out of my way, you stupid bitch!"_

_Emma lay under her bed, trying not to make a sound. She'd been hiding for over an hour, and her arms tingled from being pressed into the hard wood of the floor by the weight of her body, but she didn't dare come out. She didn't mean to be bad... her mom had warned her not to paint without newspapers under her paper, but she couldn't find any and she was being super careful! It wasn't until she was done that she'd noticed the paint on the carpet. She'd immediately thrown her picture away and run upstairs, whispering to herself over and over 'please don't let him see it'._

_But he had, and now he was angry..._

_The only voice she could really make out was his, but from the muffled sound that accompanied it she knew that her mom was with him._

_"You're too fucking lenient with that brat, Elizabeth! I can't trust you to get anything right!"_

_He was getting closer. She hoped he used his hand when he hit her this time; it didn't hurt as much as the belt; he always used the metal part._

_"Charlie, you need to calm down. It's just a little paint; I'll be able to wash it out of the rug."_

_"Don't tell me what I need to do." Emma heard the loud crack of his hand meeting her mom's face, and squeezed her eyes closed tightly, tears already running down her cheeks. She tried to make them stop... they only ever made him angrier. "Get up!"_

_"I'm sorry... I didn't mean it, Charlie. Please... just don't hurt her. It's my fault."_

_"Get. Out. Of. The. Way."_

_"No."_

_The last thing she heard was another smack and a thud before the whole apartment went quiet._

##

Emma kept her eyes squeezed shut even as her mind became fully awake. She listened to the sounds of the near silent apartment, trying to convince herself that she wasn't still trapped under her bed with her father just outside her door.

Slowly, she opened one eye and then the other. She was in her room, in Kate's apartment. She'd been worried that she wouldn't be able to stay with her while the adoption was still up in the air, but the Thompsons said that it was okay.

Slipping the socks she'd pushed off her feet in her sleep back on, Emma padded out of the room only knocking on the door to Kate's room when she already had it open a crack.

"Em?" Kate's sleepy voice asked, but didn't wait for a reply before lifting the comforter. For almost their entire history together Emma had been sneaking into Kate's room after a bad dream, which had been quite frequent in the first few months after her mother's death. Around the time she turned 11, Emma had started to pretend that she didn't need this anymore; it took a month of bad nightmares and Kate coming into _her_ room after being woken by her screams for Emma to admit that she wasn't too old for comfort.

When Emma had settled in next to her, Kate started rubbing a soothing hand up and down her arm. "You want to tell me about it?"

Emma shook her head, too tired to try and relive it. "Can you just sing to me?" This was another of their rituals that it had taken her awhile to admit she wasn't too old for anymore.

Clearing her throat, Kate softly began to hum before transitioning into the soothing lyrics.

_"Stay awake, don't rest your head_

_Don't lie down upon your bed_

_While the moon drifts in the skies_

_Stay awake, don't close your eyes"_

Emma didn't even make it the whole way through the first verse before her eyelids grew heavy and she drifted off.

##

_Beckett sat beside the hospital bed, her hand being held in a grip that probably made Emma a terror in thumb-wresting at her school. The only times Emma had let go was when the doctor had examined her and when Beckett had stepped out to call Esposito for an update._

_The little girl had said very little since Beckett had managed to coax her out of her hiding place. The doctor had informed her that Emma was in shock. Beckett had smiled politely and managed not to say 'duh'. She hoped Social Services sent someone over soon; she hadn't dealt with many children since she'd realized there were more lucrative jobs than babysitting back in high school._

_"What're you going to do to my dad?" The question was so soft and so hesitant._

_Resist the urge to shoot him was the answer that immediately came to mind. Even at this early stage of the investigation, it was very clear that Charlie Moore had killed his wife, not 20 feet away from their daughter. "We just want to ask him some questions."_

_Emma bit the nail of her thumb nervously, the jagged appearance of her other nails speaking to a well-ingrained habit. "Will I have to live with him?"_

_'I don't know' was what she should have said, but the poorly concealed terror in the girl's eyes wouldn't let her. "No," she promised. The only acknowledgment of her statement was a tightened grip on her hand. "Why don't you try and get some sleep?"_

_Emma glanced at the door, as if expecting someone to barge in at any second. "Will you stay?"_

_This was such a bad plan... "Yes."_

_Emma smiled gratefully before letting her eyes slip shut, but her posture remained rigid and uncomfortable. "Kate?"_

_"Yeah, sweetie?"_

_"Could you sing to me? Mom always sings to me when I can't sleep."_

_Only little snippets of lullabies came to mind and she wasn't sure she could successfully mold them into a medley. She was about to resort to a song by The Fray that she hadn't been able to get out of her head all week when a memory of her own mom stirred in the back of her mind. Standing, she used her free hand to gently stroke Emma's unruly hair._

_"Stay awake, don't rest your head_

_Don't lie down upon your bed..."_

##

"Beckett?" Castle's voice, combined with his gentle touch on her shoulder made her jump, causing her to nearly topple out of her chair. "That may be the least graceful I've ever seen you," he commented, amused, as she tried to right herself.

"Shut up," she grumbled, not yet having the energy for wit.

He set her morning coffee on the desk in front of her. "That might help."

She gulped down half the cup, ignoring the slight sting of the still-too-hot coffee. "Thanks."

Nodding in acknowledgement, Castle studied his exhausted muse. "We're not in the middle of a particularly stressful case. What's giving you those dark circles under you eyes that you weren't completely successful in covering up?"

Making a mental note to go to the bathroom and put on some more foundation, Beckett glanced around. "I should be getting the final verdict tomorrow."

He wondered if she said 'the final verdict' like it was for any other court case for her benefit or that of the cops around her. Either way, he kept his words intentionally vague as well. "Beckett... there's no way you'll lose."

Her eyes dropped to her cup. "It's been years, Castle. I can't convince myself that this is a sure thing until the entire process is over."

He studied her for a moment before nodding. "You know, there are times... When Alexis doesn't respond to a text immediately, or when Ashley dominates her attention for the third weekend in a row, or she gets yet another brochure from a college not in New York... Or when Meredith shows up and whisks her to another county. I can't help thinking that Alexis is going to be taken away from me."

"From what I remember of Meredith's last visit, Alexis could only handle her in short bursts," Beckett commented, trying to ignore the serious tone he'd taken.

"All I'm saying is, that feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach that it's all too good to be true, it never really goes away. It's one of the unfortunately side-effects of parenthood: varying degrees of near-constant panic attacks."

"You really should switch from mystery novels to self-help books," she muttered sarcastically.

"Ah, but then the world would be filled with people just like me, and it would explode from too much amazingness."

"I'm going to tell you author buddies that you're making up your own words again."

Castle shrugged. "They do it, too. That's why we play poker instead of scrabble. We just kept seeing how many we could slip in. It was a vocabulary form of Bullshit; it wasn't pretty."

Shaking her head in amusement, Beckett couldn't keep from saying, "You lead quite the life, Castle."

"It's not for the faint of heart." He smiled into his own cup of coffee as he watched some of the tension seep out of her shoulders. "What time tomorrow?"

Raising a skeptical eyebrow, Beckett shook her head. "If I tell you, you'll show up."

"Kind of the point of asking."

She hesitated for just a moment. "Noon."

##

Emma shifted uncomfortably in her 'dress clothes'. She hadn't gotten a new pair of black slacks since her last growth spurt, so the legs where just a little too long and the waist a little too tight. The boots she wore hid some of the length problems, but her blouse had to remain untucked, no matter how much Jill had protested.

She didn't know why she couldn't just wear her jeans. By the time the judge saw her, he would have already made his decision, no matter what pants she was wearing.

She hated courthouses. They always made her think of her father, and the cold look in his eyes when she'd been brought in to testify against him. Emma remembered a lot of fights between lawyers... whether she really needed to testify, whether she could just answer the judge's questions... but eventually she'd had to take the stand and be on the receiving end of questions she hadn't always known how to answer and the glare from her father that told her he wished he'd killed her too. But Kate had been there too, smiling reassuringly, and sitting close enough to her father so that every time Emma had to look at him she also saw Kate.

"You know, when I was your age I never looked that serious."

Emma glanced up and smiled as Kate's writer friend approached her. "The way Kate tells it, you still never look serious."

Castle clutched at his heart. "That is a blatant falsehood. I'll have you know that I made a frowny face last week." He demonstrated said face. "You know, just for that, I'm going to withhold your surprise."

Emma couldn't quite contain the curious look she knew was now covering her face, and by Castle's smirking expression she could tell that he knew he'd won. "Surprise?"

With a flourish, that he probably thought made him look like a magician, he pulled out from under the coat that was currently draped over his arm, two bound stacks of paper. Cautiously, she took them and noted the hand written titles on the covers: _Heat Wave_ and _Naked Heat_.

"Since she was little, Alexis has been helping me with my novels," Castle started to explain before she could ask, "but there were things in them that I didn't necessarily want her to read, and still don't. So... I started writing 'family approved' versions that never made it to my publishers. Beckett should be okay with you reading that."

She was almost as surprised as he was when she flung her arms around him in a hug. "Thanks, Mr. Castle."

"No problem, Squirt. But drop the 'Mr.', okay? You can call me Castle or Rick... either is fine."

Being on the lower-end of average height for her age, Emma was used to and hated 'short' nicknames, but for some reason, when Castle said it she didn't really mind. "Thanks, Castle."

He pulled back and winked at her, before looking around. "Where is Beckett, by the way?"

"She's probably close by. We're not supposed to see each other right before..." she gestured towards the courtroom they were still sitting outside by way of explanation.

"Ah, I'm going to go find her."

Nodding, Emma settled back with her new reading material, but glanced up before he could get too far away. "Castle, could you give her a hug for me?"

He smiled widely. "It would be my pleasure."

"I thought it might be," she muttered to herself as he walked away.

She'd barely read the sentence: _It was always the same for her when she arrived to meet the body_, when a bailiff stuck his head out the door. "Emma Moore? They're ready for you."

Taking a deep breath, she nodded, and stood to go inside.

* * *

**A/N 2: **Man, I honestly have no idea why this chapter was so hard to write, but it was. There are a couple of scenes in here I rewrote about 5 times, and others I wrote and took out. On a positive note, my semester is pretty much done, so I should have much more writing time! Again, I'm sorry for the delay on this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

_Emma stared at the woman in front of her. She was smiling, but something about the way she looked at her made Emma feel like she wasn't living up to some standard she didn't know about. She felt the strange urge to double check that her last name wasn't Olaf._

_Ms. Reed had promised that she was going to a good place, where she would be well taken care of, and that it was only temporary anyway, until Ms. Reed could find her a good home. Emma was pretty sure that almost anyplace had to be better than if she'd been forced to live with her dad. As it was, she was more than willing to abide by his request to never come and visit him in jail._

_"Your bedroom is just down this way. You'll be sharing with a couple other girls, but I'm sure you'll get along well," her new foster mother was saying, as she guided her down the hallway past various rooms where loud sounds were being blasted out of. "Carrie," she called, and a girl a few years older than Emma stuck her head out of a nearby room. Pushing her dirty-blonde hair out of her face, the other girl eyed Emma speculatively. "This is Emma. Can you help her get settled in? She's going to be staying with you, Tracey, and Melanie."_

_"Of course, Brooke." Carrie slung an arm around Emma's shoulders and, taking the bag out of her hands, led her into the room she'd just come out of. The two other girls in the room, who Emma assumed were Tracey and Melanie, sat on the same bed and watched as Carrie pointed out one of the bottom bunks of the two bunk-beds in the room. "That's yours." Emma nodded and reached to take her bag back, but Carrie handed it off to the girl who appeared to be the older of the two. "Not so fast. We need to go over some rules first."_

_Emma started to protest as Melanie and Tracey began rooting through her bag, occasionally taking out some of her nicer clothes and holding them up to see who best they would fit, but Carrie forcefully pushed her down on to her bunk and leaned into her space._

_"I don't know what your sob story is, and personally I don't care. I don't care if your dad ran off, or your mom is a drug addict, or your older brother is doing time because he robbed a liquor store. _I'm_ in charge here, and when I'm not here, Melanie or Tracey is. When I tell you I want something of yours, you give it to me. If I tell you to do my chores, you do them. I don't know if you're smart enough to do my homework, but fake dumb and I'll know. There will be no crying, no yelling, no sound of any kind. And I can add to these rules at any time. And don't even think about running to Brooke. She won't believe you. You remember all of that and we'll get along fine."_

_Emma was shaking, whether from anger, fear, or some combination of the two she wasn't sure, but somehow she found herself nodding in understanding even as her eyes burned with defiance._

_"Good. Welcome home."_

##

Emma looked around her new room and felt like crying. All of her things from the Thompsons' were already moved in, though almost none of it had been unpacked from its boxes. She still couldn't quite wrap her head around the events of the day.

Just before noon, Jill had brought her to the courthouse, sitting with her while they waited for the judge to be ready for them. It seemed as if they'd sat there forever; her only reprieve was when Castle had shown up and distracted her for a time. When she'd finally been called in, she'd had a hard time meeting anyone's eyes. Emma had wanted to seek out Kate, but she was too afraid that Kate would already look defeated that she didn't dare. They'd been through this process too many times for optimism to even be possible at this point.

As the judge began explaining his final decision, Emma had been sure that she was going to throw-up, or have a panic attack, right there in the middle of the stifling court room.

_"... Therefore, it's my opinion, that it's in Emma Moore's best interest to be placed with Kate Beckett..."_

She wasn't sure whether it was her or Kate who gasped, though, going by the tender smile the judge sent her, it had been Emma. She barely managed to stay in her seat long enough for the judge to declare her case closed, immediately rushing to Kate's side as soon as it was allowed.

She had no idea how long she'd stood there, wrapped in Kate's arms, tears streaming down her face and soaking into Kate's blouse. She was vaguely aware of people moving around them - Castle hovering nearby, Mr. Green explaining what their next step would be, and Jill saying something about Emma's things - but she really didn't care about any of that.

For the first time in she couldn't remember how long, Emma felt safe.

##

"I really should have seen this coming," Beckett mused, her voice leaning more towards amused than annoyed.

Standing in her doorway was the Castle family - Alexis with enough balloons that she probably should have been floating down the hallway, Martha holding what looked like an obscenely expensive bottle of wine, Castle with a cake that was designed to feed way more than five people, and each with smiles that were fighting to be wider than the next.

"Darling, if there was ever a reason to throw a party it would be adding a child to the family."

"Listen to her, Beckett," Castle advised. "Mother has yet to finish celebrating the glorious day _I_ was brought into this world."

Alexis just shrugged. "We'll just have the party in the hallway if you don't let us in."

"Party?" Beckett asked with mild dread, but stepped aside to let them in. "Exactly how many people are coming over?"

Setting down the cake on the dinning room table, Castle tilted his head as if considering. "Your dad, Ryan and Jenny, Esposito and Lanie... the Captain said he'd try and stop by, I'm not sure if that includes his wife and kids or not... I left messages for Madison and Karpowski... Perlmutter seemed less than enthused, but you never know... Ryan and Esposito were going to invite some more people from the 12th..."

Beckett suddenly had an image of the last party she and her roommate had thrown in their dorm. The small room barely had any breathing room, much less space to maneuver around once the party was in full swing. More than half of the people there she'd never met before or after that night. She wondered if cops were as likely as frat boys to tape two 40 oz. onto someone's hands. Though both Alexis' and Emma's presence reassured, mostly, that that was not a very high possibility.

"Where's Emma?" Alexis asked, interrupting Beckett's train of thought (which Beckett would have to thank her for later).

"In her room, getting settled in. Would you like to meet her?"

Nodding enthusiastically, Alexis moved to follow her. Beckett hesitated for a moment, looking at Castle questioningly.

"We sprung this on you; we'll get things set up."

"Just don't break anything."

"So little trust."

##

Alexis smiled knowingly when not halfway through her introduction to Emma there was a loud crash coming from the general direction of where she and Beckett had just left her father minutes ago.

"Castle!" Beckett called in exasperation, before leaving the teens to make sure that her home was not being destroyed breakable item by breakable item.

Emma smiled at Alexis in a way that spoke of a shared burden, and any hesitancy Alexis might have felt in the younger girl's presence faded away. "I hope you don't mind that we're all invading your home on your first official night here. I think my dad may have spontaneously combusted if we'd waited any longer to celebrate."

"I was actually surprised that he didn't follow me and Mom home," Emma admitted, and Alexis could tell from the glint in her eyes that Emma was already onto her dad.

"I may have warned him that he had to give you two some time if it turned out the way we all thought it would," she whispered conspiratorially to the other girl. "Though I am impressed that he actually listened to me." As the two giggled together, Alexis looked around the mostly unpacked room, noting the only half filled closet and white walls. The bookshelves were overflowing, though. Alexis made a mental note to invite Emma along on next weekend when her and her friends went shopping. "Is there anything I can help with?"

"I think I might actually be done for now..." Emma said after examining the leftover items in her boxes. "How about we go supervise the grown-ups? They shouldn't be left alone for too long."

Slinging an arm around Emma, Alexis smiled happily. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to come along."

##

"Princesa, I'm stealing you away from your mama-bear here for a minute," Esposito joked as he snagged the girl's hand and pulled her towards the dance floor just as _Cha Cha Slide_ started playing.

"This song is lame, Javi!" Emma teased, unable to stop from giggling as he and Ryan started dancing on either side of her.

"Only if you dance like Kevin"

"Dude, don't be jealous of my sweet moves!"

"Show them how it's done, baby girl!" Lanie called between gasps of laughter.

Kate shook her head, doing nothing to stop her laughter. She was about to toss out her own commentary when a cup appeared before her eyes. "You branching out to other beverages, Castle?" she teased, but took the cup gratefully.

"You're grumpy when you get dehydrated." Taking a sip of his own drink, he smiled at her. "How are you holding up?"

"It's still a little surreal..."

"That's one happy girl out there."

Beckett's smile grew as she watched Em, Ryan, and Esposito 'slide to the left'. "Yeah. Castle... I don't know how to even begin to repay you for -"

"I already told you. There's no debt."

She wanted to protest more, but he just shook his head, so instead she leaned up and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "Thank you," she whispered, pulling away only slightly. Involuntarily, her eyes darted to his lips before she met his eyes again.

"You're welcome..."

"Hey, Mom!" Emma called out, using her new favorite word.

Kate turned towards the sound of her voice, and froze.

##

Josh Davidson was exhausted. He'd had to pick up some extra patients lately as it seemed like every one of his colleagues was going on vacation. He'd briefly entertained the idea of taking some time off himself and convincing Kate to tagalong with him, but he knew she'd just say that she couldn't take the time off right now and he didn't want to start yet another fight over whose job was getting in the way more.

So, instead, he settled on planning a surprise for her. He knew that she didn't have a case, so she'd be at home - either soaking in the tub or reading a book. He had the cab driver drop him off at the corner store near her apartment, where he picked up a decent bottle of wine. He thought about getting flowers as well, but he thought that would scream 'trying too hard'.

The elevator doors had barely opened when his ears were assaulted by the telltale sounds of a party - loud music and indistinguishable chatter. Josh only had enough time to wonder why Kate hadn't broken up the gathering before realizing that the noise in question was coming from his girlfriend's place.

Completely confused, and half convinced that in his sleep-deprived state he'd gotten off on the wrong floor, Josh tentatively knocked on the door.

It didn't take long for a voice that he didn't recognize to yell, "I'll get it!"

Whoever he'd been expecting to answer, the smiling, petite teenager who answered was not anywhere on the list. "Hi," she greeted.

"Uh... hi." Glancing inside the apartment he decided that it at least looked like Kate's place, but really the furniture was the only thing that looked right. "Is Kate Beckett here?"

The girl in front of him was looking at him suspiciously now, like she was trying to decide if he was a stalker or crasher. "Who are you?"

"Josh..."

Understanding lit up her face, and Josh could swear he heard the words 'Dr. Motorcycle Boy' before she stepped aside to let him in. It didn't take him long to spot her... standing on the far side of the room, far too close to her writer.

"Hey, Mom!" The girl next to him called out and his heart all but stopped when Kate was the one who turned to answer. "Your boyfriend's here!"

* * *

**A/N: **Don't kill me! That's where the chapter had to end...


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Again, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and/or added this to your alerts and favorites! You guys have been amazing, kind, and patient :)

* * *

"Josh, wait." Beckett caught up to him just in front of the elevator as he was trying to make his escape. She had to give it to him; he'd stayed longer than she ever would have expected - going through a few awkward introductions and making stilted small talk. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to meet Emma like this."

Resignation weighing down his posture, he shook his head. "Did you ever intend for me to meet her at all?" A weight settled on her chest, because if she was honest, she really didn't know. He must have seen her answer on her face, because he said, "right," and turned back to press the down button.

"I've never introduced her to any of my boyfriends." Beckett almost winced as soon as the words escaped her.

"So, what, Kate? It's not me, it's you? Don't take it personally that you have every portion of your life separated in some kind of Bento box so nothing touches each other?"

"You were the one that suggested we not talk about work; that our jobs consumed enough of our lives that we didn't need to bring them home at night."

"This isn't work!" he finally exploded. Taking a deep, calming breath, he ran a hand through his hair that he still hadn't had a chance to get cut. "You have a _daughter_. Jesus, Kate, don't you think that's something I deserved to know?"

"Yes," she admitted, "you did. But when we first got together... we weren't serious, Josh. You know that. Until you got back from Pakistan... and you still won't tell me what happened to you on that trip... we were just having fun. I _couldn't _introduce you to Em under those circumstances. I couldn't let her get attached to you and then have you be gone a week later."

The door to the elevator finally opened, but instead of getting in Josh sighed and leaned against the wall next to it. "And after? When we _were_ serious."

"Josh..." She wished she could say that there was a huge difference between 'exercise' buddy Josh and boyfriend Josh but, other than him having a toothbrush at her place and having breakfast with her in the morning instead of leaving at night, there weren't many. Nothing about their relationship screamed 'one and done', just 'exclusive'.

"Is this about Haiti again? I stayed!"

He had, and she had allowed herself to believe that meant they had a real shot, that they could make their relationship work. But a tiny voice in the back of her brain kept telling her that both Will and Royce had made similar promises before choosing the job over her.

"For how long? Eventually you're going to get an offer you can't refuse, and I'm not going to ask you to stay - I won't do that to you again. But you have to understand that I can't base my or Emma's life around that."

"So, where does that leave us?"

Fine, if he need her to be the one to say it she would... "I guess we should take some time and - "

"Calling it quits can't be the only solution," he protested. "I don't want to lose you, Kate. I have never felt this connection to anyone before. I lo-"

"Don't. Please don't." She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, simultaneously trying to block out his words and keep in her emotions. "That won't fix anything."

His body heat warned her of his approach, even before she felt him tightly take hold of her upper arms, pulling her to him. Her eyes slipped open of their own volition until she was once again meeting his intense gaze. "I know that you don't feel as strongly about me, at least not yet. I know that when I met you, you'd been hurt badly by someone and that I was only ever supposed to be your rebound."

"No, I - "

"Shhh, it doesn't matter, because I also know that this has become more than that. So, give me a month. Let me prove to you that I deserve to be the man in your life."

"More time won't change any- "

"Kate, please, just give me this one last shot."

She knew that she shouldn't, that this would just make it worse in a month when they had the exact same problems as before... "One month."

Sighing in relief, Josh leaned forward and brushed a tender kiss across her lips. "I should let you get back to your party."

"Do you want to come back inside?"

"Nah, I'm pretty tired. Have a good time."

"Okay, I guess I should _head back inside!_" She raised her voice enough to carry down the hallway, causing, not seconds later, loud fumbling and crashing as the 20 plus people in her apartment all tried to 'covertly' remove their ears from the door at the same time. "It's really amazing any of them are capable of a discreet stakeout."

##

Emma and Kate sat slumped on the couch in their now company-less apartment, feet propped up on the coffee table in front of them, neither wanting to move an inch much less walk _all the way_ to their respective rooms.

"That was intense," Emma mumbled, trying to keep her eyes from slipping all the way shut.

Humming in agreement, Kate gripped, "I'm never letting anyone with the last name Castle in here again."

"They'll just send Martha over."

"Damn. Good point."

"It was nice of them to plan it," Emma admitted tentatively.

"Yeah, it was."

Emma watched a soft smile take over her mom's face and hesitated. "Mom?"

"Hmm..."

"I'm sorry about Josh."

"Sweetie, that was a mess of my own making; you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Still, if it wasn't for me..."

"Stop. Josh is mad at me, not you. If he truly had a problem with you, he would be gone so fast." Reaching out, Kate pulled Emma into her side, holding her snuggly in place. "No guy will ever be more important than you."

"I just don't want to make anything harder for you."

"You're really going to make me pull out the three names on my first day at this?" Shaking her head, she forced Emma's chin up so that she was looking directly in the girl's eyes when she said, "Emma Sophia Beckett, you make my life _so much_ better. Never doubt that."

Emma was getting really tired of crying, but she couldn't have stopped the two tears that escaped as she tried forcing a reply.

Reaching up, Kate used her long sleeve to brush away the tears and tried not to think about all the times her mom had done that for her. "It's time to go to bed. Alexis and Martha are threatening to just show up with purchases if we don't go shopping with them tomorrow, which I'm taking to mean you will end up with at least one leopard print outfit."

"Don't think I could pull it off?"

"You're really more of a tiger print kinda girl." Reluctantly getting to her feet, Beckett reached down and pulled Emma off the couch with little help from the girl. "Go."

"Yes, Mom." The teenager pecked her on the cheek before heading to her room, leaving Beckett by herself for the first time that day.

As she double checked the lock on the front door and turned out all of the lights, Beckett tried not to think about how she felt like she was screwing up already.

##

"You have to get that," Alexis insisted when Emma came out of the dressing room to model one of the tops she'd found.

The younger girl ran a hand over the garment self-consciously. "I don't know..."

Beckett had warned Alexis that Emma was going to be hesitant to shop, so she'd been prepared for this reaction. "You want to try it in a different color?" she quizzed, not allowing for the possibility that she wouldn't get the top.

"No, I like the blue. I just..."

Alexis was used to shopping with her mom or gram, who hardly needed encouragement of any kind to plunk down a credit card on a new outfit. Her friends went scouring through stores like they were owed something that would bring out their eyes. Shopping with Emma was kind of refreshing, but also a little frustrating at the same time.

"Detective Beckett told me to remind you that if you didn't have a decent pile picked out by the time she and Gram got back that she gets to pick the rest of your outfits and you will be forced to wear them to school. She got this evil little smirk on her face when she was saying it, too... My dad told me that never bodes well for others."

The way Emma examined her, to determine how accurate she was being, was so close to similar expressions she'd seen on Detective Beckett's face that Alexis had to remind herself that the girl was adopted. "So, get the shirt is what you're saying."

"I would." They nodded in agreement and Emma went back to try on more clothes. While she waited, Alexis eyed the garments other people had left to be put back for any hidden gems, so when she heard Emma's voice it came out muffled. "What?"

Coming back out, in a completely new outfit, Emma repeated, "I just said... Thank you, for helping me with this, for the party last night..."

Alexis waved her off. "I'm having fun, and the party was almost all Dad."

Emma nodded. "He's been really nice to me."

"He likes you."

"He likes my mom."

"Oh, there's no denying that," Alexis laughed with an affectionate eye roll, "but he'd never just be nice to you because of your mom. He knows how much that sucks, for both parent and child."

Emma shrugged. "I don't have a lot to compare it to. I get the feeling that I missed out on a lot of 'buying your love' presents from Mom's exes."

"They're mostly awkward to get and are almost never something you actually want. Though I did get Taylor Swift tickets one time..." Emma gaped at her a little. "I know, right? I kind of feel guilty about taking them now, but it was such a great night with Ashley..." Glancing at Emma mischievously, "But, hey, maybe Josh will be good at guilt-presents."

Emma groaned, causing Alexis to burst out laughing, but still patted the girl on the shoulder reassuringly.

"You girls having fun?" Martha asked as she suddenly popped up beside them.

Alexis glanced down at the four full shopping bags her Gram was carrying. "Not as much as you."

"Don't hold yourself to such an impossible standard," Martha scoffed. "No one has as much fun as me."

Alexis laughed and side-hugged Martha. "But it's still good for us to have lofty goals." Turning to the other girl she warned. "You know your mom will be here any second, right?"

"Oh, shi-" She ran back into the dressing room just as Beckett was approaching.

"She's already starting to hide from me," Kate commented, far too amused by Emma's mad dash.

"She'll be blocking you from parts of her Facebook in no time," Alexis confirmed.

"And saying she's 'fine' constantly when something's wrong," Martha added helpfully.

An annoyed grunt, followed by Emma shouting, "You guys aren't as funny as you think you are," was met only by laughter.

##

Shifting restlessly in his car, a man stared at the storefront he'd been staking-out for a good couple of hours now. If he wouldn't have stuck out like a vegetarian at a steakhouse in there, he might have chanced following them in, but as it was he would have to make do for waiting for them to come out.

He'd almost decided to give up for the day when the four women he'd been waiting on finally stepped outside. Adjusting the lens of his camera, he quickly snapped a couple shots before he drove away, unnoticed.

* * *

**A/N 2:** A couple things... Before anyone starts asking "why can't Beckett just dump Josh's sorry ass?" it's because he has a purpose in this story. If he didn't, quite honestly, I would have written him out. If you've read my other stuff I think you can tell that Josh has an almost _nonexistent _chance of being who Beckett chooses in the end.

Secondly, just a fair warning, we're officially getting to the middle of this story! Yay! That does, however, mean we're coming up on some drama. There will be support groups offered for those of you who stick with me lol


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Thank you to everyone who has patiently encouraged and politely threatened me to get this chapter out! You guys are amazing and I hope you're still reading this.

* * *

"That's a lot of paperwork," Castle commented as he took up his regular seat. "Did I miss the part where we got a case?"

Beckett grumbled in response, but didn't look up, her pen poised over a box on the page. "I think the school district requires more paperwork than you had to sign to start following me."

"They couldn't just put your name on the forms they already have for her?" he asked, even though he knew in all likelihood no, they really couldn't. He hated the first week of school when Alexis came home with more homework for him than herself.

"Some of it really did need to be changed," she admitted grudgingly. "Do you mind if I put you down as an emergency contact? I don't want to have the boys fighting over the last spot."

Castle did his best not to smile. "Sure, I think I can probably handle that. You'll have to show me the classified handshake, though."

"Not in the middle of the precinct, that wouldn't be very secret." She did pause to glance at him then, and their eyes fixed on each other in a way that was becoming far too common and distracting recently. "Thanks."

He nodded, before glancing away. "Where does she go?" It bothered him slightly that he hadn't thought to ask before. He talked to Emma about her classes, but not about her school in general.

"Bowman Middle School."

"Isn't that a little..."

"Far? It's not the neighborhood school, but it's where she went before and there's really no point in pulling her out during the middle of the year."

"I was actually going to say 'public'."

Beckett arched an eyebrow, leaning back in her chair to study him. "Do I detect a hint of snobbery in your voice, Castle?"

"No!" he immediately denied, but then added, "Okay, yes. Maybe a little..."

"There is nothing wrong with Emma's school."

He knew he should drop it. He recognized the hard expression that Beckett had only directed at him at the very beginning of their partnership. "No, I'm not saying there is! I just - Alexis went to Miller, so if you wanted I could make some calls -"

"Castle, please don't make me hurt you. I'll feel really guilty." He snapped his mouth shut. "First, I'm going to remind you that if you asked everyone in this building, 80-90% would tell you they went to public school growing up, including me."

"Ryan," Castle called the detective over, earning a glare from Beckett that told him she knew what he was doing. "Did you go to private or public schools growing up?"

Ryan looked back and forth between the partners, unsure what exactly he'd just stepped into. "Private Catholic School. All of my sisters and I did."

Castle shot Beckett a triumphant look.

"Did you like it?" Beckett asked Ryan, but didn't take her threatening stare away from Castle.

"Some of the worst years of my life," he answered immediately, earning a pleased smile from Beckett and a groan from Castle.

"You are no use to me whatsoever."

Ryan would have taken umbrage at the writer's words, but his boss continued to smile at him and said, "You've been very helpful. Thank you, Ryan." As much as Ryan liked Castle, he'd learned long ago that it was much more important to keep 'Mom' happy in these situations.

"What was that about?" Esposito asked his partner when he came back over to their desks.

"I think Dad wants to send us off to boarding school, but Mom won't let him."

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Boys," Beckett called to them, already standing and putting on her coat. "We've got a body."

##

"That has to be the easiest case we've ever solved," Castle sulked. "We didn't even have time to set up the board."

Beckett shrugged, sipping on the fresh cup of coffee Castle had made for her. "They can't all be criminal masterminds."

"I just - He could have tried a _little_ harder to get away with it."

"He did run."

"To his _apartment_. When he knew that there were witnesses who could identify him! He sat at home, crossed his fingers, and hoped that the cops wouldn't care that he killed his father-in-law. I mean not that we don't all understand the occasional desire to kill one's in-laws; I've written the scene a few times, but come on..." Castle paused mid-rant when Beckett's cell lit up with an incoming text. "Josh?"

Tensing slightly, Beckett gave one shake of her head, wishing to avoid the subject of her boyfriend at all cost. "No. Emma." Reading over the text, her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Castle, did you get -"

Castle's phone vibrated in his pocket.

"It seems something of yours is currently in my daughter's possession," he joked, a wide smile taking over his features. "I'm afraid the only way you're going to see her again is if you come and get her yourself."

"I'd say this was kidnapping, but Emma doesn't seem to be held against her will." She showed him the text she'd received to demonstrate her point. "I guess we better get over there before she decides she likes it there too much and Alexis finds herself with a roommate."

Following her to the elevator, pausing just long enough to wave goodnight to the guys, Castle couldn't stop from asking, "Would that be a 2-for-1 deal? Because I'm sure we could find space for both of you."

"You want to live with four women, Castle? Don't you lose enough arguments as it is?"

"Sadly, that is an all too valid point. I take back the offer. However, I can probably feed both of you before kicking you out."

Dipping her head down, Beckett unsuccessfully attempted to hide a smile behind her hair. "Only if I get to help with either prep or clean-up."

"You drive a hard bargain, Detective."

##

"Mom!" A bundle of energy capped with a head of curly brown hair collided with Beckett as soon as she and Castle stepped through the door, latching on to her arm and tugging her further into the loft. "You have to help me with something."

Beckett barely managed to send Castle an apologetic look before she was fully dragged out of view. Laughing, he hung up his coat before turning to his own daughter. "Hey, sweetie." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her cheek. "What was that all about?"

"Teenage girl drama, Dad. You don't want to know."

"She didn't want to ask you?"

Alexis gave him that look that told him that he was missing something blatantly obvious. "We discussed it. I think Emma's still enjoying the novelty of having a mom around all the time that she can talk to."

"Oh." He heard the small underlying note of melancholy in Alexis' voice and thought that there was something else 'obvious' that he was still missing. Deciding to ask his mother about it later, who would surely have an explanation combined with a similar exasperated expression, Castle quickly changed the subject. "How was your day?"

"Great!" He almost sighed with relief at the return of Alexis' enthusiasm. "I got an A on that pop quiz my teacher gave us in Physics yesterday."

"That's my genius daughter!"

"Oh, before I forget, Gina's assistant dropped this off today." Alexis searched under both her and Emma's homework that had been spread out on the kitchen island and emerged with a plain manilla envelope. "She said she found it mixed in with Gina's mail, so it must have gotten mis-sorted."

It looked like standard in-house mail but was clearly addressed to him. Setting it aside, he decided to read whatever edits were probably in it later.

Turning towards the stairs, where Beckett was leading a much calmer looking Emma, he couldn't help but smile at the three females before him.

"So, what do you girls want to eat?"

##

It was one in the morning when a loud knocking cut through the apartment, startling Beckett awake. Taking a second to confirm that it was indeed real, and not some cruel dream, she stumbled out of bed and to the door. "What the hell, Castle?"

The author, looking incredibly frazzled, pushed past her into the apartment. "Are you guys okay?"

"Other than being sleep deprived, I'm fine. Since she's not currently standing here, glaring at you, I think it's safe to assume that Emma did not befall a similar fate."

"Can you go check on her?" When she didn't move, just stared at him like he'd lost his mind, Castle begged, "Please. I promise I'll explain. Just go check."

Sighing, Beckett pointed to the couch. "Sit down. I'll be right back."

As quietly as possible, Beckett walked to her daughter's room, opening the door to reveal the girl's undisturbed, sleeping form. Releasing a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, she mentally cursed Castle for freaking her out.

"She's fine. Which I'm not sure I can say for you. What's going on?"

Castle slumped with relief, dragging a hand across his face. Pulling an envelope out of his jacket pocket, he cautioned her, "The envelope's probably a lost cause, but you may want to use gloves on the contents."

He shouldn't have been surprised when she didn't have to look far for a pair, but just before she opened the envelope she studied him. "Whatever's in here has to do with Emma?"

"Yeah."

"How bad?"

"It's not good," was all he managed.

The note lay on top, just the way it had when he'd opened it up.

_Mr. Castle,_

_Please offer my congratulations to your muse on the latest addition to her family. Tell her to enjoy the time they have._

He watched as she read it over once, twice, and finally a third time, her eyes hardening at each pass over the few neatly typed sentences.

The anger she was barely containing over the letter almost completely got shoved out of the way by fear when she set it aside and took in the 10 photos it had hidden.

One of Emma sitting outside the courtroom, reading a book.

One of Emma with her, Alexis, and Martha on their recent shopping trip.

One of Emma and Beckett standing in line at Starbucks.

Two of Emma walking to the subway on different days.

And five, one from each day that week, of Emma at school.

"Castle -" Beckett's fingers trembled slightly and she forced herself to set the photos down before she dropped them. She looked up and studied the eyes of the man sitting next to her, hoping he had some explanation that would make the horrifying reality of these photos go away. Make their message something other than: _I've been watching your daughter and can get to her any time I want._

Castle had been with Beckett through ordeals that would shake, if not break, most people and he had not once seen her as terrified as she looked in that moment.

"Nothing is going to happen to Emma," he promised with a conviction he had to force himself to believe.

"I need to - I should call the Captain..."

He nodded, waiting as she stood to get her phone. "Beckett?"

"Yeah?"

"I really think you should consider transferring Emma out of Bowman."

* * *

**A/N 2: ***dodges flying objects* Okay, clearly you're upset right now. I'll just come back later :)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** This obviously isn't a holiday fic, but I thought some of you might not mind me slipping this one in ;)

Thank you for all of your reviews of the last chapter! Most of you took it much better than I was expecting lol

* * *

Emma knew something was wrong. She'd woken up to the sound of multiple voices where there should have been a silent apartment. It didn't take her long to identify some of them: her mom, Castle, and Captain Montgomery. She thought she'd heard Esposito at some point, but she couldn't be sure. What worried her the most, apart from the obvious break from normality, was the way her mom was talking to the captain.

From her room, Emma could make out words like 'no', 'my daughter', and 'please, sir'.

Montgomery's responses of 'too close', 'Ryan and Esposito', 'I'm sorry, Beckett', were no less comforting or illuminating.

Pulling on the sweatshirt she'd flung to the end of her bed in the middle of the night, she moved across her room as quietly as possible and, with great care, opened the door a crack to try and hear more of what was going on.

"Beckett," a voice that definitely belonged to Esposito broke in. "You know we'll catch this guy. Ryan and I don't want anything to happen to her either."

"We won't let you down," Ryan added.

There was a brief pause before her mom spoke again. "Yeah, I know guys. Just... I know you have to ask questions, but just give me a minute with her, okay?"

Emma heard the footsteps approaching her door and had just enough time to skitter back to bed, her head buried in her pillow just before the door to her room opened.

"Em," the teenager kept her eyes closed despite her mom's softly spoken call. A hand brushed the hair off her forehead. "Sweetie, I need you to get up."

"Mom?" she asked, with what she hoped was just enough faux-sleepiness in her voice. She made a show of looking at her alarm clock and groaning. "Mom, it's Saturday."

"I know, but you have to wake up. There's something very important I need to talk to you about."

She did sit up then, not having to fake her anxious expression. "They changed their minds, didn't they? They're not going to let me stay with you."

"No, Em, listen to me - "

"Is it Charlie then?" She tried to avoid calling Charlie Moore anything resembling the title of 'father' whenever possible. "I thought the judge said he couldn't get out? Oh God, did he break out?"

"Emma!" Her mom's voice snapped her back. "Baby, I know you're worried right now. I don't know how much you heard before I came in, but - " Emma shook her head, but couldn't force the denial past her lips. "No, I know you were trying to fake me out just now, so don't even try it. I need you to stay calm for just a few minutes while I tell you this and then you can yell or cry or do whatever you need to do, but coming up with worst-case scenarios is not going to help right now."

Emma nodded once, allowing her silence to be her answer. Her stomach muscles involuntarily clenched and her shoulders went rigid.

Her mom drew in a long, slightly shaky breath. "Yesterday an envelope was delivered to Castle's publisher -"

##

Emma didn't know how she was supposed to feel. Scared, she assumed. Angry was probably high up there on the list, too. But mostly she just felt... like she'd taken NyQuil in the middle of her history class. Kind of out of it. She simply lay in bed, the covers pulled up to her shoulders, with her head in her mom's lap. Not able to let one thought stand still long enough to for her to actually latch onto it.

She knew that her mom would murmur something every so often, but for now Emma simply focused on the tone rather than trying to decipher any of the words.

This was just... unreal. Her English teacher would probably be disgusted with the word choice, but that's the only word that she could come up with that fit.

She didn't know how long they stayed in that position, but after awhile there was a knock and Esposito stuck his head in. "Hey, princesa." Emma forced one corner of her mouth up to try and form some semblance of a smile, though she didn't say anything. "Beckett, we need to do this soon."

"We'll be out in a minute, Espo."

He nodded and left them alone again.

"Ryan and Esposito need to ask you some questions," she told her, and Emma nodded. "Answer them as best you can, but don't feel bad if you can't."

Emma nodded again before forcing herself to get up.

She'd entered rooms and had people stop talking instantly before; it usually signaled that her current foster family was done with her. But the looks on the people around her now was different than those times. They were scared for her and for the first time she felt some of that sneak in on her, tightening around her heart.

Oddly, Castle was the first to speak. "You need breakfast. Beckett, please tell me there is real food in the refrigerator."

"Of course there -"

"I'm not hungry," Emma broke in. The thought of food making her slightly nauseous.

"You haven't seen the breakfast I'm going to make you yet. Besides, no matter what your mother tells you, it's not actually possible to survive on coffee alone." He winked at her and gave her mom's hand a brief squeeze before heading off in the direction of the kitchen.

Captain Montgomery gave Emma a short hug, which surprised her so much she almost didn't return it. "I need to go have a jurisdiction fight. Keep me apprised." This last part said with a pointed look at Ryan and Esposito. "And Beckett, I don't want to see you at the precinct for at least a couple days."

Emma expected her mom to protest loudly at the order, but instead she thanked him and walked the Captain to the door.

"Sit down, Em," Ryan instructed, gesturing to the couch. "Beckett told you what's going on?"

"Yeah."

"We just have a few quick questions and then we'll let you gorge yourself on whatever Castle is whipping up for you. First though..." Ryan glanced at his partner before staring Emma directly in the eyes. "We're going to catch this guy. He's not going to get anywhere near you."

_He's already gotten too close,_ she thought to herself, but smiled gratefully at Ryan. "Okay."

"Princesa, have you noticed anyone out of the ordinary hanging around lately?"

She knew this question was coming and she'd been wracking her brain to come up with an answer. "No."

"It doesn't have to have been around here. It could have been at school, while you were out with your friends... Anyone who didn't look right."

"This is New York, Javi. If I don't run into at least one person who looks like they just stepped out of a _Fringe_ episode I worry."

"Okay," Ryan jumped in. "I'm going to show you the pictures that were taken." Each individual picture were in evidence bags, so they slipped against each other as she looked through them. "Do you remember when these were taken?"

She nodded, she could place where she'd been based on the details in the pictures, and the days off of what she was wearing. Emma let her eyes close after looking at each picture and tried to recreate the moment in her mind, but... Nothing, there was absolutely nothing there. Shoving the photos away, she shook her head. "I don't remember anything."

"Em," her mom said from beside her. _Don't get frustrated,_ she reminded herself. _Yeah, right._

"It's okay, Emma," Ryan soothed. "Has anyone approached you who you were unfamiliar with? Maybe asked you for directions?"

"A guy asked me if I knew when the A train was supposed to arrive yesterday while I was on my way to school... He just seemed lost and didn't ask me anything else when I told him." She tried to picture the stressed, middle-aged man as a crazed stalker and just couldn't. However, it was the only question she hadn't had to answer with 'I don't remember,' so she didn't say anything.

"Around what time was that?"

"About 8, I guess."

"Okay... Has anyone seemed hostile towards you lately? An adult? Another student at your school?"

"No, I haven't gotten into a fight in years."

"It doesn't have to have been physical. Someone who may have snapped at you..."

"Julia yelled at me because I didn't call a ball in a game last week and we both tried to spike it. We both apologized after the game, though."

"Anyone else?"

"No."

"Okay." The adults exchanged a look. "When's the last time you heard from your dad?"

Emma stared down at her hands.

"Emma." Esposito's voice was a little sharper. "Have you spoken to your dad recently?"

Emma looked guiltily at the two men in front of her and did everything she could not to meet her mom's questioning eyes. "Just after the adoption went through."

##

Castle watched as his partner pushed food around on her plate. Emma had eaten the smiley face cinnamon toast and fruit he'd deemed light enough to not upset her stomach and then had gone to take a shower, or escape, whichever you wanted to call it.

"I wish she hadn't felt like she needed to prove something to him," Beckett finally muttered. Whether she said it to him or the eggs on her plate, he wasn't sure.

"The man abused her for years," Castle reminded her gently. "It's understandable that she'd want to show him that he hadn't won. That she had a good life with you now that he couldn't touch."

"She didn't tell me. How did I not know she'd gone out there?"

"Did your parents know everything you did when you were a teenager?"

"God, I hope not. If they did I'm not sure why they ever let me out of the house."

They both paused, shuddering at the thought of either of their daughters getting away with half of what they had as kids.

"Do you think Moore has something to do with this?" Castle asked, steering the conversation back to the case.

"Until about an hour ago I would have said no, but now... I just don't know. It would be hard for him to pull off in prison, especially in such a short amount of time, but not impossible."

He made a noncommittal noise before asking a question that had been bugging him. "Why'd they send them to me? And why at Black Pawn?"

"It's easier to bribe someone to drop something off or slip into an office building than it is a police station. Black Pawn is in a fairly busy building downtown. He stood the best chance of blending in there."

"Possibly."

"Or maybe they thought you'd try and handle it yourself and not get the police involved."

"But the letter specifically said to tell you; as reverse psychology goes it's sorely lacking. There's got to be something we're not seeing. Unless this guy is stupid, he's got to know that he just significantly hurt his chances of getting to Emma by telling us."

Beckett nodded thoughtfully. "Usually letters like that would include a threat to not call the cops or else, but he had to know that wouldn't work here." She sighed. "Or maybe he knows something we don't and is just toying with us."

"Hey," he reached out and grasped her hand. "There's no way we don't win this one."

She looked down at their clasped hands for a good while before raising her head. The cold steel in her eyes nearly made him step back. "I'm going to find this guy, Castle," she promised, "and when I do, I'm going to offer him the choice between a bullet to the head or the heart."

He didn't know what scared him more, that he almost believed her or the immediate thought that he'd fulfill the second choice after she'd handled the first.


End file.
